Santa Lep, King of the Mountain

Ho Ho Ho kids! It's Santa Lep! That's right, the big day is coming up...when I come down each of your chimneys in the middle of the night, eat your cookies, put some gold in your stocking, and wish you all a lucky new year.

Right now, I'm up at the North Pole, getting a little Lepboarding in before the big day. I'll see you all next week!

The LepReport

I'm sick of all these steroid-using "professional" baseball players getting credit for their accomplishments when I do it all juice-free! I'll be going public today with my "Lep Report". It will list out all the players who I feel have tainted the game with their performance-enhancing drug use. Here is me list so far.

1. Barry Bonds
2. Roger Clemens
3. Alex Rodriguez
4. Randy Johnson
5. Albert Pujols
6. Mickey Mantle
7. Hank Aaron
8. Ted Williams
9. Sandy Koufax
10. Babe Ruth

That's right...I'm not just drawing the line on current players or even retired players, I'm even accusing the ones who have passed on! Take that Major League Baseball Commission!

Lep James

Just like Barry Bonds and his homerun record, the producers at American Idol are trying to take away me title as the latest American Idol. Remember when I competed? Anyway, they found out that I've sang professionally beforehand under the alias "Rick James". Brutal. It was back in the day when I had my hair permed in the disco era. But they won't be taking the title from this 'Super Freak' without a fight!